An Ecstasy of Rage (Updated Version)

my_bleeding_heart_by_eliantart-d574suk

(Image from deviantart)

I want to rip off this beating heart

With my bare hands and dig my fingernails into it

Squeezing out the red hot blood

And watch it flow over my silken skin

The contrast of the velvet red on the paleness

I can feel the physical sensation

Of the pain being released

Oh, what a different kind of ecstasy this is!

I want to paint my wrists with silver

And watch the lines turn magically into red

The claret rivulets of emptiness–warm and metallic

Flow into the dark mouths of my demons

They glower–unsatisfied, gouging out my mind

I feel their power

And the tugging pain in my head

They urge me to paint harder

And harder I paint–blind strokes with silver

I can feel the physical sensation

Of the pain being released

Oh, what a different kind of ecstasy this is!

I can still breathe

My insides claw at my soul

With every raspy breath I take

The loneliness tugs at my throat

Knotting into a mammoth cloud of obsidian despair

I want to cut off the strings

Smother out the grating breaths and put an end to the smarting ache

I have to! And that’s what I do.

I can feel the physical sensation 

Of the pain being released 

Oh, what a different kind of ecstasy this is!

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15 thoughts on “An Ecstasy of Rage (Updated Version)”

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